{"id":1339,"date":"2015-05-31T20:06:02","date_gmt":"2015-06-01T04:06:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/?p=1339"},"modified":"2015-05-31T20:08:29","modified_gmt":"2015-06-01T04:08:29","slug":"i-believe-in-marriage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/?p=1339","title":{"rendered":"I believe in Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"

I do not hold the record for singleness. Indeed, at 27, I haven\u2019t even hit the national average for male first marriage. I am slightly past the 26.2 age for Utah males but I\u2019m still comfortably within the confidence intervals. But I do live in the world where most of my friends are raising children now and life check list of \u201cgo to college, get married and get a job\u201d is reduced to \u201cget married\u201d. I do get questions about my dating life at every family gathering, reunions between friends, work, church, the doctor\u2019s office and any time I reveal my bright blue eyes and spicy elbows. Okay, maybe not every time, but still. <\/p>\n

And then come the set ups. I don\u2019t have to doubt that there are many eligible girls out there. I don\u2019t doubt because I get referrals. My coworker\u2019s wife has a cute single cousin who is older like me. My brother\u2019s mother-in-law has a niece in Rexburg that likes the outdoors. A fellow temple worker set me up with his daughter. My parents have repeatedly gone through every girl they know, and every girl in the neighborhood. My next door neighbor set me up with her niece\u2026in Shanghai, then came over and provided the skype connection. I\u2019ve been set up by aunts and grandparents, bishopric members and their wives, my thesis adviser\u2019s wife, a scout master I met at camp once (who offered his daughter), old mission companions, the girl down the street, some of my married friends, the nurse taking my vitals, current crushes, my nieces and nephews, and many of my mother\u2019s friends that have daughters. I\u2019m beginning to suspect that I\u2019m not the only single person in this world. <\/p>\n

\"Josh<\/a><\/p>\n

HOWEVER. This isn\u2019t a rant about singleness. This isn\u2019t a passive aggressive attempt to get everyone to let me stew in my solitude in peace. I could go on about how it\u2019s my life and I\u2019m living it at my pace and didn\u2019t you notice that I\u2019m still two years behind the national average and I know what I\u2019m doing. But\u2026well. It\u2019s not just my life, it\u2019s her life too. And others. My pace isn\u2019t necessarily the right pace. What I should be doing has very little to do with what \u201cnormal\u201d is nationally. And, quite honestly, I have no idea what I\u2019m doing. All I\u2019m doing is making one or two choices at a time while trying my best to anticipate a future I can\u2019t see but often dream about. And I know I screw up, probably even every day. I don\u2019t know how create a marriage. I\u2019ve collected advice and techniques my whole life but the implementation is weak at best. <\/p>\n

I believe in marriage. I believe what L. Tom Perry said in his last worldwide address 7 weeks ago. \u201cLet me close by bearing witness (and my nine decades on this earth fully qualify me to say this) that the older I get, the more I realize that family is the center of life and is the key to eternal happiness.\u201d I believe that the greatest happiness possible in life comes through the union of two souls in the perpetuation of humanity. <\/p>\n

\"Boston<\/a><\/p>\n

I believe it because he said so. I also believe it because the church says so. The temple says so. And my parents say so. And endless concourses of teachers, professors, mentors and friends say so. Because the scriptures say so. Science seems to say so. Even silly things like Hollywood seem to say so. Animal nature seems to agree. Men are that they might have joy. Happiness is the object of our existence. Marriage is how you maximize that happiness.
\nNow, I know not all families are pleasant. <\/p>\n

I know some marriages fail.<\/p>\n

I know that not everyone finds the pinnacle. But some people do.<\/p>\n

And I still believe in it. <\/p>\n

So I try to accept a referral now and then. I try to be happy each time another friend ties the knot. I endure the questions and remind myself that you ask because you care. Because you also know that it\u2019s worth it. And you want me to be happy. I\u2019m okay with that. <\/p>\n

\"San<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I do not hold the record for singleness. Indeed, at 27, I haven\u2019t even hit the national average for male first marriage. I am slightly past the 26.2 age for Utah males but I\u2019m still comfortably within the confidence intervals. But I do live in the world where most of my friends are raising children […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1339","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2xIrS-lB","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1339","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1339"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1339\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1348,"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1339\/revisions\/1348"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1339"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1339"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/blog.riley.rackliffe.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1339"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}