From LSAT to GRE

In a book I recently pretended to read the author told of the feared cocktail question,” What do you do?” As we rove about in our social circles and daily activities it’s inevitable that someone will ask you that question, frequently. In college we are desperately trying to get to know people so that question comes up all the time. It takes a number of different forms. “What are you majoring in?”
“What do you want to do with that?” And as you get older “what are your plans after graduation?”  Hearing the question almost daily for the last several years has given me cause to think about it a great deal. What am I becoming? Where am I going?

At the beginning of the school year I had a pretty solid plan. I was anxiously engaged in biological research and having a blast with weekend adventures across my mountain west home. I was registered to take the LSAT in preparation to apply to Law Schools. I was even dating a wonderful girl. It was a comfortable time, with only a mild degree of uneasiness. I dove into the LSAT with almost zero preparation and came out feeling wonderful. I was used to doing quite well on tests and this one had not seemed too bad.

Then things started to unravel. I developed knee problems which added an element of pain to my wilderness adventures. School work piled up and I was kept busy planning social events for three different organizations. I stopped dating the girl and crippled my ability to interact within our mutual group of friends (who were also neighbors). Then the LSAT score came in and delivered a stunning blow being far lower than I was used to getting. Low enough that my assumptions of law school were derailed. In my arrogant state I saw I could not get into the schools I that thought to attend and utterly ignored the schools I could get into.

I scrambled for a new plan. My honors thesis proposal was rejected and suddenly I was about to become a college graduate with zero plan. For the first time in my life my future plan was only 6 months. I tried to motivate myself to retake the LSAT but realized that I needed more time to avoid my previous mistakes.

I withdrew. Maybe not socially or academically, I continued to be involved in the things I was duty bound to accomplish but my heart was not in it. I was scared and running from my failures. I sent to friends for advice and counsel and they responded giving me plenty to consider.  More than anything though I pleaded for guidance from a source that I trusted would never lead me wrong.  And the weeks passed.

Finally in December as I went home for Christmas break I decided it was time to act. I needed a plan. My boss had been trying to get me to apply for graduate school for some time and though I did not know for certain I decided to give it a try.

With two weeks to prepare I took the GRE. My Honors Thesis was approved through a very messy process over Christmas break. Suddenly I was tremendously overbooked for the semester. I did much better on the GRE and was easily accepted into the Biology Graduate program at BYU.

This is an aside. Last night I ran into a friend who I had not seen in some months and we chatted for a while about all that has happened. She told me not to forget how little I am or how big I am. I instantly thought of Moses realizing how small and insignificant he was in comparison to the innumerable creations of God.  And then realizing how important he was when the devil came and called him son of man. We are not so important that we can derail the plan of God but we are important enough that God died for us.

So how do I answer that question today? I’m going to spend the next 2 years in Provo getting a Master’s degree with Dr. Russell Rader focusing on Ecology, my favorite perspective in natural science.  I’m going to be a Scientist. After that, I don’t know. I might get a PhD. I may go to law school. Maybe I’ll get a job somewhere. But hopefully I can get a little better at putting myself in proper perspective.